What’s your ampalaya music level this Singles’ Day? TS, Sam Smith, or Adele?

In case you didn’t know, it’s Singles’ Day today, and while that’s not really something to celebrate for some people, it’s a big holiday in China where the “festival” originated. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, single people actually  parade their single selves on November 11 and go all-out shopping, as it’s considered the largest online shopping day in the world. (Nothing heals better than retail therapy after all.) The date was significantly chosen for the number 1, which signifies being alone.

Anyway. Now that you’re especially made aware of your singlehood (as if you haven’t had enough reminding), let’s delve into more self-discovery by finding out your ampalaya (bitterness) level. Based on your (grim) experiences in relationships, how bitter are you? Are you level Pink, Alanis Morissette, Taylor Swift, Sam Smith, or Adele? Let’s start.

Alanis Morissette

’90s kids, unite. Millennials, get to know the alternative rock legend that is Alanis Morissette. The voice behind ’90s hits such as “Ironic,” Alanis became famous for her angsty songs, some of which were considered the anthem of (ahem) bitter people.

“Jagged Little Pill,” perhaps her most successful album, features tracks that’ll send you to a roller coaster of emotions. If your ampalaya level is Alanis, you’re constantly shifting from one mood to another.One minute you’re somber, the next you’re wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt, and the rest you’re angry and bitter.

Some of Alanis Morissette’s lyrics that are golden:

You live, you learn. 😀

Pink

Pink is probably in the same level of bitterness with Alanis, but only more sarcastic. The singer has had an on-and-off relationship with her now husband Carey Hart, and some of her angsty songs are about him. If you’re at this level, you try to conceal your pain by throwing insults and making fun of the person who caused it. 

F*ckin’ perfect.

Taylor Swift

Ah, the queen of shade and ode to exes. This ampalaya level list will never be complete without the Taylor Swift, whose songs mostly revolve about her ex-boyfriends. Let’s admit it, some of them are actually sweet. However, T.S. is also a master of stringing bitter and harsh words together when talking about someone she hates. If your bitterness level is Taylor, you’re a combination of bitter, angry, sad, and doesn’t give a f*ck.

There’s actually so many priceless lyrics from this girl, it’s so hard to pick.

Photo credit: YouTube

 

BRB, crying.

Adele and Sam Smith

We put these two artists together because they’re basically the counterparts of each other. Adele rose to fame for her magnificent vocals and heart-wrenching songs, while Sam Smith is often referred to as the male Adele because of his equally harrowing tunes. If you’re at this ampalaya level, you’re in truly deep sh*t that you no longer pretend and just let out your vulnerable, *pathetic* self.

Adele’s songs are actually perfect for your “walling” sessions, aka sliding down the wall while crying.

Meanwhile, Sam’s tracks are what’s often referred to as laslas-pulso songs.

R.I.P. heart and self-esteem.

Oops.. we mean Happy Singles’ Day!!! 😀

About Jan Adelynne Artana 45 Articles
content editor on weekdays, traveler on most weekends

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